Yes Empress! Self love is definitely happiness and confidence and every Empress slays!
But just like success, the definition of self love differs from person to person.
There are definitely some common denominators like happiness and confidence, but it is so much more than that! Today, I want to touch on some things that I believe define self love as well.
So let’s get to it!
What has developing self love mean to me?
- Self love means authenticity
Like I said above, happiness and confidence go hand in hand when you think of self love, but authenticity also gets thrown in the mix. It took me a ridiculously long time to accept who I am and showcase that to my friends and family. It’s so much easier being your authentic self to a stranger than your friends, even if they’ve known you for 20+ years. But think about this: what if they accepted you for who you are?
Wouldn’t that be amazing?? Wouldn’t it be amazing to live the life you WANT to lead as the person you ARE?!
Chances are, your friends and family will be crazy supportive of your authentic truth because nothing is more beautiful than your authentic self! When you’re authentic, you radiate confidence and beauty! Since being open about my love of manifestation, crystals, mantras, all the “woo woo”, I have gotten so many compliments from people I wouldn’t have ever expected, like a friend’s ex-roommate and an old high school friend.
And if the people who surround you in your life don’t accept the authentically beautiful you, good riddance. Get rid of them, reduce your time with them, or just discard what they have to say. Keep doing what you’re doing and they’ll get the point. Just agree to disagree and walk away.
- Self love is a decision
Self love doesn’t just come to you. It’s a decision that you have to make. If you’re anything like me, you’ve heard time and time again all the things that bring you down. You’re not good enough, you’re not smart enough, you’re not pretty enough, or rich enough or maybe you’re a quitter. If you grow up with those comments, your own brain is going to breed this type of conversation.
At my lowest point, I felt like I was sabotaging every relationship around me. I hated looking at myself in the mirror and I felt like I couldn’t do anything successfully. I knew I needed a change. I knew I needed to “fix” myself. The way I lived felt like I was on the wrong path.
Finding a solution to my negative self-image was a decision I made before it too late. I made a plan and stuck to it.
Self love has been a decision of my every single day since. When encountering “energetic vampires” (you know, those people who suck the life out of you), I often let them get to me. But I remind myself that that is not who I am anymore. I love myself in a completely non-conceited way. When I look in the mirror and judge myself (because that’s the way most of us have been trained to do) I stop myself and say out loud, “I love me. I love all of me,” and I give specific reasons why I love myself.
Self love is a daily decision.
- Self love has given me direction
I think the biggest and most unique thing in my own self-discovery journey has been that self love has given me direction in my life.
I cannot express how incredibly lost I was in my life before developing my own self worth. If someone asked me what my 5 year plan was I was stumped for an answer. Girl, I was stumped for an answer when asked about my plans for the year! I had NO CLUE what I wanted to do, who I wanted to become, who I was, what I was doing with my life.
I started teaching English as a Second Language abroad because I loved travelling and ultimately it gave me a 6 month to a year plan so that I didn’t have to report my lack of life plans to my father, who is completely obsessed with monetary success. Ends up, I love teaching and I was good at it! I have zero regrets teaching and living abroad! I gained unforgettable experiences and travelled to many places. Each place taught me a new life lesson and taught me a bit more about myself. But as much as I wanted to stumble into finding myself and my place in life, it just didn’t work. Like I said early, it was a decision I made to love myself first and foremost. After that, things started falling into place.
I realized that I CAN actually do WHATEVER I wanted. I have no limits in life and I choose to live my life in that belief. I wrote down my passions and let the Universe and my new self-worth guide me to the position I am in today. I now have plans for an entire YEAR! Unbelievable! I have a goal as to where I want to be within two years – working online, living in a condo I own while still being able to travel for approximately 4 months out of the year. Everything I do on a daily basis is working towards those goals.
Ultimately, uncovering my self love and my self worth has opened doors for me that I have spent years trying endlessly to open.
What does self love mean to you?